


The Morningstar's Worst Fear

by charliebradcherry



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Arachnophobia, LMAO, Lucifer is Scared of Spiders, M/M, Sam needs to remove the spider from his bedroom, What A Freakin' Nerd, i promise it's funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 16:03:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13574019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charliebradcherry/pseuds/charliebradcherry
Summary: An archangel who always claims to be dark and evil is actually afraid of an itty bitty spider. Sam has to save his dramatic ass or else he will never put another foot in that same room again.





	The Morningstar's Worst Fear

“Sam!” the archangel cried as soon as the door slammed rapidly closed behind him. The hunter whom the room belonged to jumped a meter up in the air, his hand closed around the grip of his gun, but what he saw made it seem like he was dreaming. Lucifer stood there, spreading himself against his bedroom door like a starfish as if he’d just witnessed the most abhorrent thing in his life before. There was genuine fear in his blue eyes, his chest rising and falling as he kept breathing the hunter’s name under his breath like it was some sort of coping mechanism for him, “Sam, Sam, Sam...”

Sam casually rubbed the sleep off of his face with both his hands. “It is two in the morning,” he announced like that wasn’t already obvious. “If you don’t have a good reason for running into my room like some criminal on the loose, completely ruining my sleep, you better run back out.”

His words didn’t seem to affect Lucifer. Instead of listening and leaving the room as asked, the archangel did a complete turnaround and bent down to stare through the keyhole of the door.

“What are you doing?” Sam frowned in bewilderment.

Lucifer raised his finger as a sign for him to shut up without removing his face from the door. “A second, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Sam never had any privacy in his room anymore ever since they allowed Lucifer to stay in the bunker with them. He needed a place to stay at, somewhere to heal since Michael had stolen a good portion of his grace. Apparently, he was more used to stomping doors open instead of politely knocking on them and for some reason, Lucifer mostly always required his presence and attention more than Dean’s or Cas’.

“Okay,” Lucifer sighed, looking at the ceiling in relief as he slid with his back against the door to drop with his butt down the floor. “Coast is clear.”

“So, do you intend on finally explaining yourself, or…?”

“We’re sharing the bed starting tonight.”

“What? No way.”

“Yes. We’re roommates now. So start savin’ some space in bed for your fellow angel friend, chop-chop!”

“Lucifer, get out of my bedroom. I’m not in the mood for games, especially not at this hour,” Sam grabbed the nearest object that wasn’t breakable, which was his unfinished book that had been lying on the nightstand, and chucked it right in the archangel’s direction who easily dodged it. “Out. I need sleep.”

The Winchester dropped his head back into his other pillows and tugged his blanket further over his head, hoping that the archangel would get it and find someone else to annoy instead. But there came none of that. No sound of an opening door, no, instead he heard Lucifer inhaling all of the air in the room and–

“There’s-a-monster-in-m’-room-and-we-are-in-grave-danger-so-I-absolutely-refuse-to-go-back-unless-you-get-your-ass-out-of-bed-and-kill–”

“What are you even saying?”

“There’s a… thing in my room!” Lucifer blurted, almost frustrated that he had to admit it out loud even though Sam had no idea what he was blabbering all about.

“Okay, you are being very specific.”

Lucifer lashed out a growl for being mocked, his face boiling hot as he removed himself from the floor and dusted his clothes. Then, he began making hand gestures to explain himself. “It’s… a giant, crawly, eight-legged monster that – that moves way too fast. It attempted to attack me, Sam! I’m ninety-nine percent sure that it’s one of bizarro Michael’s little soldiers in the vessel of some weird hairy tarantula trying to suck out my grace or something,” he explained, but then pride bloomed about his face and he crossed his arms. “Luckily, I was able to close the door as soon as I got out. Which means it’s trapped and you can kill it.”

Oh.

Oh.

No, this was a joke. A ridiculous prank. It had to be. But thinking twice about it, perhaps not. Sam could’ve been wrong. Lucifer was known to be the number one drama queen in the bunker, of course. Every situation he played a role in had to be overdramatized around here, and stuff like getting scared of an itty bitty spider was one of them now. The hunter felt to urge to scream at Lucifer to get out but also attempted his best not to break into laughter at the same time. What came from him instead was a simple long snort to express his repressed amusement.

“Oh, okay, sure,” Lucifer raised both of his hands as if he gave up, a layer of fake understanding above his aggravation with Sam who was making him feel like a fool. “Yeah, please feel free to laugh in my face while I just survived death from a grace-sucking specimen dangling an inch away from my head while I was trying to sleep!”

“You are actually kidding me with this, right?” Sam laughed quietly as he moved out of bed, putting his feet into his slippers. “You’re afraid of a tiny spider?”

“Tiny?” Lucifer huffed, nose raised in defiance. “If it were tiny, I wouldn’t have been able to notice that they had more eyes than Argus Panoptes. They’re evil, Sam. Anyone who owns multiple eyes with eight legs looks and is downright evil, end of story. It was staring right at me, too.”

“Alright, then. Let’s see that grace-sucking specimen of yours. But promise you’ll keep your mouth shut and not wake anyone up.”

Lucifer had in fact woken up the entire bunker with his voice blasting through the corridor after Sam asked him to keep his mouth shut. Cas and Dean thought something was awry from where they heard it, but once they were standing in the doorframe of his bedroom, all they perceived was the archangel standing atop a chair.

“What is going on here?” Dean asked, narrowing his eyebrows in confusion and lowering his gun once he saw that there was nothing to panic about. “And why is he standing on a chair?”

From the back of the room, Sam neglected the question and watched the spider slightly move its legs. Yet, it stayed on the same spot and didn’t move. The little thing wasn’t doing anything wrong.

“So, this is the giant eight-legged tarantula you were talking about?”

“You sound like I’ve been exaggerating! Like this is amusing!” Lucifer shouted with his hands cupped around his mouth as if the distance was literally a mile between him and the hunter. “Well, here’s just a nice little reminder for you: It’s not!”

The last time that Sam had to manually remove a spider from a room and set it free via the window was when Jessica was still alive and she found one sitting on her jewelry box in the bathroom. And if he had to be honest with himself, he’d say that she didn’t piss herself as much as the Devil himself did when they found themselves in the same room as the spider.

This was just incredulous.

“What are you waiting for?” Lucifer yelled again. “For it to make the first move and jump on your neck so it can suck the life out of you?”

“Dude, is he serious?” Dean whispered, standing stock still in the doorframe, unable to comprehend what was going on. He wasn’t quite sure if he was fully awake yet, or if he was hallucinating this.

“Oh. Deadly.” Castiel deadpanned, his expression remaining neutral throughout the entire fiasco that was playing out before their eyes.

Sam rolled his eyes and finally proceeded to get Lucifer out of his misery. He decided to cage the spider underneath his palm first and then gently pick it up so he didn’t accidentally crush it into a fist. Opening his hand, he noticed that the spider didn’t seem to want to flee.

“Okay, I’ve got it–”

“Woah, woah!”

“What?”

“Why are you picking it up?”

“…Because you said you wanted me to remove it?” Sam side-eyed the archangel, not comprehending what he was getting at.

“I wanted you to kill it!” Lucifer pointed his finger at the ceiling as if it was something crucial to remember. “Drop the son of a bitch right now and kill it first. Punch it, crush it, stomp it dead – I don’t care how you do it, but it deserves sweet death!”

“Okay but if you really wanted it dead that bad, you could’ve not woken us up with your bullshit and just smitten the thing right away, ya know?” Dean remarked. “Never thought the Devil would puss out over a spider. And here I thought you were dark and evil.”

Lucifer almost dropped from his chair hearing that and aimed his finger at the elder Winchester now. “I am dark and evil – this is just a form of self-preservation and you’re clearly enjoying yourself over there, but I know what that little monster is capable of and I’m not gonna fall for it. You can keep making those facetious remarks of yours but that’s not gonna– Hey, hey, woah!”

“What now?”

“Do not point the monster in my general direction!”

“Are you kidding – the thing is dead, Lucifer. It’s dead! I just killed it for you!” Sam was going to get a headache at some point, he could already feel his head throbbing a bit. “It’s an innocent little insect chilling in the corner of your bedroom, watching over you and nothing more. Quit being whiny.”

“I’m gonna remember that! You mocking me–” Lucifer lost the thread of his phrase as he felt himself losing balance but luckily for him, he regained it a few seconds later after wobbling around a bit. Needless to say, it was funny to watch for Dean Winchester. These were things that everyone would remember and joke about for the rest of their lives.

Sam walked out of Lucifer’s bedroom with the dead spider in his hand, never minding the chirm that followed after him. This was the last time he was ever coming out of his room to kill a spider. He’ll lock his door next time.

Lucifer owed him breakfast in the morning.


End file.
